There are days when I cannot move. There are days when I am so overwhelmed by the love of God that I cannot make sense of anything else. This love is so inconceivable. Even in the worst of times, I am so incredibly blessed. I find myself with one simple question on my lips: “Who am I?”
As Israel Houghton wrote, “Who am I that you are mindful of me?” When push comes to shove, I am quite simply the world’s greatest screw-up. I have failed far more times than I have succeeded. I have fallen so often that I consider the ground one of my closest friends. Why does God take the time to care for me? Why does He take the time to constantly help me up every time I fall? What in the world is in it for Him?
That is the wrong question. It’s not about what’s in it for Him, but rather who He is. While it may be cliché in our modern age, the truth is God is indeed love. At His core, His very essence, God is love. It is who He is. Everything else flows from that love: justice, mercy, grace and righteous anger. God is all of these things and more, but ultimately He is the embodiment of perfect, unrelenting love. His love compels Him to constantly strive for each of us, to forever pursue us in order that He might lavish His love on us.
It’s too much. I cannot conceive of such love. In my own imperfection I have known love and I have shown love. But it is nothing compared to the love of our Savior. No matter how deeply we love our spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends, can we honestly say that every day we relentlessly pursue them for the single purpose of lavishing love on them? Do we forgive those we love as Christ forgives us? Are we willing to not simply overlook but to completely blot out their shortcomings? Jesus does this for us, and in so doing demonstrates a model of perfect love.
To consider such loves leaves me speechless and overwhelmed. I am truly and completely undone. He loves us in our weakness and imperfection. He loves us perfectly and completely. I never want to disappoint the one who loves me so much. I just want to serve Him with all that I am. Knowing I am loved in such a way, I cannot wait to fall down again. If I never fell, I would never know the warmth and acceptance of those arms that lift me up. It is in the failing that we learn and in the falling that we advance. It makes no sense, but then again, when was the last time love made sense to anyone? There is no logic here; there is simply mercy and grace. There is only love. Take a moment and bask in His love today.