Nichole Nordeman had written some amazing lyrics over the years, and one of her latest songs, “The Unmaking”, is no exception. While the entire song makes one do some serious soul searching, one simple line in the song sticks with me more than any other. It says, “Had to lose myself/To find out who You are”. It’s a recurring theme in my life these days.
To truly know God, we have to empty ourselves of everything that is not God. This is both daunting and uncomfortable. It has caused me to confront things in my life I would rather have left undisturbed. But my ultimate goal remains to know God fully and to be utterly consumed by Him. This requires a bit of unmaking. It means I have to lose myself to find out who He is.
Deconstructing yourself is heavy work. Challenging everything you thought you knew is painful. But if we want to know God fully, we must begin tearing down the walls we’ve built within our hearts and minds. We must destroy all the things we believe make up who we are. Until our identity is found in Christ alone, we’re only lying to ourselves anyway. I’ve spent decades defining who I am. I even consulted God about it every now and then. But here, now, everything must change.
Being a disciple of Jesus requires us to strip away all affections for the things of this world. It means putting others before you every time. And it requires an unwavering focus on the person of Jesus Christ. Following Jesus never happens by accident. There’s no gray or wiggle-room in it either. Jesus said we are either with Him or against Him (Matthew 12:30). He left no other option. So if you want to follow Jesus, it’s going to mean radical changes to your mindset and your habits. Your life is over (Galatians 2:19-20). From this point forward, it’s all about Him.
As you unravel all the wasted themes upon which you’ve built your life, there is a great peace and relief in “letting it all go”. It hurts in the beginning. We’ve spent years becoming attached to our selfish affectations, and exorcising them comes with some pain. But the discomfort is temporary and if we are keeping our eyes on Jesus, we remain aware of why we’re doing this. Following Christ, pleasing Him, loving Him, is the point of it all. It is the reason we were created.
The unmaking of your life is not something done quickly. In some ways it will go on for the rest of your life. But it has to begin at some point and right now is always the best time. What in your life doesn’t look like Jesus? What habits do you engage in you can’t imagine Him doing? What words do you speak that tear others down instead of building them up? Whom do you treat in a way Jesus never would? Whose image do you build up and project, yours or that of Christ? As Nichole sings, there’s “beauty in the breaking.” Lose yourself and find out who God really is. It’s time for your unmaking.