Even If i Walk Alone

Instructing and encouraging you to live your life as a disciple of Jesus

Ephesians

Love Is… Forgiveness

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Recently we’ve been looking at the various attributes that make up the concept of living in love, deconstructing what it looks like to demonstrate Christ-like love to others. We previously looked at kindness and patience, and today I’d like to discuss one of the most difficult attributes: forgiveness. In addition to being the foundation for our salvation, Scripture is replete with references commanding us to be a forgiving. In I Corinthians 13:5, it says that love keeps no record of wrongs. In other words, love is forgiving; it does not hold past offenses against another. Ephesians 4:32 tells us to forgive one another, just as Christ forgave us. If we want to live lives that look like Jesus, we must be forgiving people. Why then is it so difficult to do so, and what would it look like if we would truly model Christ’s forgiveness in our own lives?

To ask forgiveness of someone else means we must admit that we are sorry for behaving in the way we did towards them. If we are prideful, we will resent the insinuation that we are in the wrong. Pride often leads to anger, and anger to bitterness. Once we reach this stage, forgiveness can indeed be very hard to achieve. You don’t feel like humbling yourself and the other party now wants nothing to do with you. That’s why it is vital to heed the instruction in Ephesians 4:26 to not let the sun go down on your anger. Don’t let the day end with anger in your heart or it will fester all night, robbing you of sleep and depriving you of joy when you awaken. If you have wronged someone, seek forgiveness immediately. It is uncomfortable to do so, but it is far more difficult later. By remaining conscious of your words and actions, you can begin by asking forgiveness for small things. This will be easier and it will begin to develop the habit of forgiveness in your life. If you feel anger, make sure it doesn’t set up shop in your heart. Dispense of it immediately; nothing soothes anger quicker than forgiving someone of their trespass, even if they deliberately hurt you and refuse to apologize. You have no control over the actions of others, but you have full charge over your own reaction. Choosing to forgive disperses tension and anger, and allows you live a less stressful life.

If we are the ones who have been offended and now seek the forgiveness of someone else, we probably are hurt and retain some resentment against them until they apologize. Sometimes someone forgives us and we accept ever so gently by telling ourselves (or the other person!) that we forgive them, but we’ll never forget. That’s not forgiveness; that’s merely glossing over the problem and allowing it to be a problem in the future. When someone asks our forgiveness, we are to accept it and move on. We can no longer harbor animosity toward them; it is up to us to open our clenched fists and lay our hurt down at the feet of Jesus. He will take it from us, allowing us to move on unencumbered by the burden of malice. Always accept forgiveness from someone; doing so will benefit you both and allow your relationship to grow.

Anger is the opposite of love; therefore you cannot live in love and be angry at the same time. Ask God to take away your anger so you can begin living in love. Don’t be afraid to take the initiative in forgiving someone even if they don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve to be forgiven either, but Christ did it anyway. When someone asks you to forgive them, have the grace to do so. Jesus said we were to repeatedly forgive others (Matthew 18:21-22). Remember Christ placed no limits on His forgiveness, so neither should we. Begin by asking for forgiveness in the small things until you’ve developed the proper habit and spirit. Nothing reflects Christ more vividly than a forgiving heart. Asking for forgiveness demonstrates humility and gentleness. Giving forgiveness shows mercy and consideration. Taken together you can easily see how love is indeed forgiveness. A heart that practices forgiveness is a heart that Jesus can use to change the world. Forgive others as Christ forgave you; confess your shortcomings to those you have hurt. Live in love.

Love is… Patience

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Last week we looked at I Corinthians 13:4 in our discussion of kindness as it relates to love (See “Love is… Kindness”). The beginning of that verse says that “love is patient”. I must confess that I am not a patient person. Perhaps that’s why I jumped over the first part of the verse to get to the next! A lack of patience is one of my glaring weaknesses. Sure, I’ve gotten better over the years putting a more pleasant outward face on it, but inwardly I still struggle greatly with showing patience to those around me. My personality type is not known for patience, but I refuse to accept that and use it as an excuse. If I am going to love as Christ loves, then I must learn to increase my patience. Some of you are way ahead of me in this area while others, I’m sure, can relate to my pain.

One of the keys to being patient is learning to be a good listener. Instead of immediately flying off the handle when someone upsets us, we need to learn to pause and listen to what the other person is saying. Ask constructive questions to find out why the person acted (or didn’t act) in the way they did. Too often, I fail to seek to understand why someone failed to accomplish what they told me they were going to do. When someone is two minutes late for a meeting, I start pacing and checking my watch in an agitated fashion. It can be little things that really are of no consequence in the grand scheme of life, yet it is easy to lose our patience. One of the great truths in life is that people are going to let you down. The key is to seek out the circumstances and respond in a positive manner.

Even when we may be justified for losing our patience, it is still up to us to decide how we will respond. When we react with angry or spiteful words, we are damaging our relationship with the other person. It is far more desirable to listen to what they have to say and then respond with words that will not harm your rapport. Remember Paul’s admonishment in Ephesians 4:2, 3. In these verses Paul exhorts us to be patient with one another and to diligently keep unity (or peace). Harsh words show a lack of patience and lead to anything but peace or unity in our relationships.

As a volunteer financial counselor and life coach, I have endured more than my share of disappointment with the actions of those who come seeking assistance. It is far easier to simply lose patience and throw my hands up than it is to recognize that each person I encounter is a highly valued and loved creation of God who is free to make their own choices based on the circumstances of their own life and experience. We cannot control the choices of others or how they behave, but we can control our response to them. No matter how many times they disappoint us or act in ways which we do not approve, if our love for them is genuine, we will patiently accept what has happened and move on. It’s okay to let them know how their actions made you feel, just make certain you conclude it by affirming them and telling them you just want to put it behind you so it does not hinder your relationship. Showing patience is difficult because the returns on your investment may never come. Love, however, never fails; so neither must our patience wane.

Jesus shows infinite patience with a creation that continuously rejects Him, curses Him and laughs in His face. Through it all He loves us beyond measure. This is how I know patience is an important part of what it means to love. My heart’s desire is to live my life in a way that reflects the love of Jesus to everyone I meet. If I am to demonstrate His love then I must learn to be patient with anyone, regardless of my own feelings or frustrations. I want to love as Jesus loves, so I will choose to be patient. Love is patient, and love is kind. Love is Jesus.

Love is… Kindness

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Knowing that love is the central attribute of God, and recognizing that we wish to pattern our lives after the model of Christ, I thought it important to take some time diving a little deeper into what love looks like when demonstrated in our own lives. Today I want to look at the topic of kindness. In I Corinthians chapter 13, the famous “love” chapter, Paul states in verse 4 that love is kind. Therefore, if we want to demonstrate love to one another, we must learn to speak and act with kindness.

It only takes a moment to smile at someone and engage them in eye contact. Simply taking the time to recognize another person attributes value to them. We are communicating that we esteem them worthy of our time, and that small piece of encouragement alone can turn around someone’s day. Haven’t you had that happen to you? You can be having a miserable day, only to get stuck in a long line at the checkout counter, when a complete stranger disarms you with a smile. It’s hard to remain mired in pity when confronted with kindness. It’s an interesting dichotomy how easy it is to feel all alone in a world of nearly seven billion people, but having someone favor us with a smile reminds us that we are not alone, that we are all in this together.

The words we speak are vitally important to how well we reflect kindness. Words can heal and words can destroy. They are powerful and must be carefully chosen. Ephesians 4:29 says that “No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need.” We are all in need of being built up. Life has a way of beating us down, so having someone speak encouraging words into our situation is extremely refreshing and gives us the strength to persist in our journey. Since you know how much it means when someone speaks kindly to you, why not practice this towards others as well?

We all need to develop the habit of recognizing opportunities for kindness. I have started to begin my morning by praying that God would reveal the occasions where I can act kindly throughout my day; I ask him to light them up like neon signs, because I can be self-absorbed and easily miss things that aren’t staring me in the face. When you get the chance, make sure that you take it. Respond in kindness; buy a cup of coffee for someone, compliment someone’s new outfit, hold the elevator, open the door or assist in carrying something heavy. There are multitudes of ways you can show kindness to another every single day. Pray for recognition of these opportunities and for a heart of kindness that will compel you to respond to them.

One great suggestion I once read was to keep a log of every unkind word you speak or deed you perform for an entire day or week. If you will diligently record the ways you act unkindly, you will not only be mortified, but you will be determined to change. Here’s the hard part: once you have your list, go back and apologize to everyone to whom you were unkind. This will develop an attitude of humility, and I assure you the experience will leave you wanting to make certain you never have to go through it again. As you become painfully aware at the unkind choices you make, kindness will begin to develop as a habit in your life. Demonstrating your new habit to others will soon become second nature.

Ask God to reveal opportunities for kindness to you throughout your day, and also for the courage to take action when you see them. Guard your tongue against spiteful or damaging words and discipline yourself to speak only words of encouragement. Pray for God’s help with this, because it cannot be done in our own strength. Consider keeping a journal of unkind words you speak and follow up with an apology; it will be a life-altering experience. As kindness becomes a new habit for us, we will grow in love. To grow in love is to grow in Christ. And this is the goal, is it not? Begin practicing today and others will see the love of Christ reflected in you.

Living in Faith, or Living in Fear?

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Fear is the enemy of hope and the opposite of faith. When confronted with decision points in our life, we will generally side with one or the other. We will either choose to cautiously back away in fear or boldly charge forward in faith. Fear can be a good thing; it can keep us from touching a hot stove or falling off a cliff. Faith can be misplaced at times, as in expecting to sprout wings on your way down the side of the aforementioned cliff! But for the purposes of our discussion, I am talking about the fear that paralyzes you from moving forward or taking a chance you know you should take. The faith I want to discuss is the God-given strength to face down your uncertainty and doubt and move forward down the path He is leading you.

On the track “Fear” (from his album, ‘Explore Dream Discover’), Daron Earlewine calls fear the most insidious four letter word. It’s the most damaging curse word of all. Fear will keep you from living the life for which you were created. It will cause you to hide your talents from the world so that no one will see; it will keep you up at night just thinking of facing the new day without the courage to change. Fear will rob you of opportunities to serve and love others, and it will make you pass up opportunities to tell someone about Jesus. Certainly this is not the life of power and freedom we see exhibited in Jesus Christ. We were not meant to live as timid beings on this earth. Yet fear can be so paralyzing that we cannot imagine ever rising up from beneath it. We know we shouldn’t feel this way and determine to overcome it, only to find ourselves frozen again.

Fortunately, faith is the cure for the common fear. As the agents of God’s mission we have been called and empowered to boldly go into all the earth serving others, reflecting God’s love and telling them the good news of Jesus Christ. This power is available free of charge to all who follow Christ; it’s part of the package, a bonus if you will. Not only do we have the privilege of serving the King of the universe, not only do we get to spend eternity basking in His presence, but we receive the power to overcome fear as well! Faith is an action verb, not a passive one. As we read in James 2:20, faith without action is useless. If you are like me, you’ve spent far too long convinced that faith was passive, just something you believed. Faith is so much more than a simple belief; that is just the seed.

As our faith grows we will find it becomes progressively more active; the more active our faith, the less confining our fear. Similar to the effects of compound interest on money, little steps of faith each day snowball into a dynamic and rich faith that laughs in the face of fear. One who has fully devoted their life to Christ – and has a life that actually reflects that commitment – knows no fear. When you come to the realization that the worst thing that could happen to you in this world results in giving you everything you’ve ever wanted in the presence of Jesus, fear becomes irrelevant.

Are you living a life of fear or faith? Fear stops you from walking in the way of Jesus; faith propels you toward Him. Fear limits your effectiveness in the Kingdom of God; faith magnifies and multiplies your gifts as you employ them in the service of others. Fear is of the devil and should find no place in the heart of a disciple; faith is a gift from God and should permeate every inch of our being. We were created to do good works for Christ (Ephesians 2:10), and to accomplish that purpose we must boldly move forward regardless of the risk. Jesus did not flinch when the road before Him became difficult and dangerous. Instead, He trampled fear beneath His feet and pressed on because of His faith in the Father. We are called to do the same. Release your fear and take bold steps of faith; plant your feet firmly in the footsteps of Jesus. Place your faith in the one who knows no fear.

Spiritual Leaks

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I believe most people who decide to become followers of Jesus are very sincere in their desire. We all start out very excited and determined to follow Him; generally after making the commitment we are quick to tell others about our decision as well. Then life sets in and the day to day doldrums that encompassed everything we did before prove to have not magically disappeared. Our excitement may wane a bit as we find less and less time to devote to praying and studying the Bible. Convincing ourselves that our commitment will override the need for concentrated effort, we continue on our path, much as we did before giving our lives over to Jesus. It’s not that we intend to fall away or even that we are mired in sin; it’s simply that we’ve lost our focus, let down our guard, and allowed the pressures of life to steal our enthusiasm and our zeal. We’re drifting and we’re not even sure how it happened.

Like a tire with a slow leak, we can go about our way for quite some time without ever realizing there’s a problem. When we do notice something amiss, we read a good book or listen to some music to pump us back up and head out on our way again. But just as ignoring a tire with a slow leak will eventually leave us broken down with a flat somewhere in the middle of nowhere, so too will unattended spiritual leaks leave us feeling dissatisfied and wandering in the wilderness of life. A little slip here, a loss of focus there, and suddenly our once devoted life has succumbed to the temptations of the world and we are no longer living for Christ at all. It is vital that we do not let our guard down for even a moment; small cracks become big problems down the road if we don’t tend to them. As soon as we recognize we have gotten off course, we need to immediately repent and pray for direction to get back on the right path. It’s also important to take a few moments and reflect on how you got pushed off track. What deceptions and devices were used? Learning the tactics of the enemy will help you fend off future attacks and help you recognize your vulnerabilities; this informs you of the areas in your life that need improvement.

It’s rarely the huge, cataclysmic events that cause us to veer away from following Christ but rather the small, barely perceptible shifts of focus that are our downfall. It’s the friend who hurts our feelings and so we harbor a grudge; it’s the boss who squashes our enthusiasm until we decide to no longer excel and simply do an average job; it’s the everyday things in life that lead to discouragement, jealousy and anger. When you are experiencing emotions that are not part of God’s character, you are causing cracks to form in your life, cracks that allow the spiritual leaking to begin. Remember that no one can cause you to feel any of these negative emotions without your permission. You must discipline your mind to reject feelings that do not align with your purpose in life. If someone wrongs you, forgive them and move on. Life is too short to waste time dealing with the thoughts thrust upon us by others. We have a mission to carry out and have no time left to lose. Ephesians 5:15-17 tells us to make the most of the time because the days are evil so we should discern what the will of the Lord is. The will of the Lord is to put aside petty differences and to go into the entire world telling others about Jesus while serving those in need. That is how we are to live our lives.

Be careful about letting cracks form in your heart. Spiritual leaks are silent and insidious killers of the soul. Without diligent focus and attention to our emotions and reactions we can easily find our joy depleted and our lives broken down and useless. Constantly recharge yourself through prayer, study and associating with others who share your beliefs. Salve your wounds by serving others; there is no quicker way to patch a crack than to be about the mission to which you are called. Staying on purpose hardens our resolve and makes the cracks less likely to appear.

Are you suffering from spiritual leaks? Take an honest look at your life and ask God to patch the holes and get you back on the road toward pursuing Him. Mind your focus and steel your resolve; guard your thoughts and learn to improve the weak areas of your life. Preventing the cracks in the first place is the best defense against spiritual leaks.